November 17, 2014

 

        I recently discovered a song that made me think of the way I have felt about myself since my teenage years.  I always felt a darkness in my mind, but when I would ask my mom about depression in my family she would lie and tell me it was all in my head.  I don't know what my mom's thought process was for doing it, but it made me feel even more isolated from the world.  

     When I met my wife I was so afraid that she would see the darkness inside and run away, or hate me for it.  Because of everything I had been through I saw myself as this horrible person that no one could ever care for if they knew who I really was inside.  Ten years later she is still by my side and helps me with my more severe bouts with my depression.  But there is still that fear in the back of my mind.  It was about four years ago that I found out that most of my family also battles depression on a daily basis.  So atleast now I don't feel so alone in my battle.

    But anyway the song I found is Monster by Imagine Dragons, It is now one of many songs I have found to help me cope with my constant battle with my own mind.

     Thanks to anyone who reads this.  And to anyone who ever needs top talk to someone about their battles I can say from experience that it helps to get it out.  And I will gladly listen.  Just comment on this blog and I will be happy to help anyone who needs it.